Going to the Ukraine
©2011 Stephen R Coffee
Before becoming the word of the decade, the Ukraine was famous for its marriageable women.
I found this new matchmaking service
The website said “son, don’t be nervous
We got these Ukraine girls just dying to meet you
They don’t care if you’re fat bald old short
As long as you got that little blue passport
They’re gonna love you
And they know how to treat you”
So I’m going to the Ukraine, Ukraine
Gonna take a fast train, fast train
Gonna take my lizard brain
And my little blue pills
They’ve got lots of women there
And they’ve all got long legs
And long blonde hair
Gonna play truth or dare
Till I get my fill
I sent this girl some earnest money
A picture of me when I was twenty
I think she likes me, she calls me “honey”
Take me for a ride on your daddy’s tractor
Show me around your nuclear reactor
Going to the Ukraine
Ain’t coming back here
(repeat chorus)
Those Ukraine girls make you scream and holler
Crazy about that American dollar
I know how lucky I am boys, make mine a vodka
Show me what’s behind that big babushka
I’m just looking for some ‘krainian tushka
Going to the Ukraine
To shoot my wadka
(alt chorus)
So I’m going to the Ukraine, Ukraine
Gonna take a fast train, fast train
Gonna take my lizard brain
And my little blue pills
They’ve got lots of women there
They’ve all got… legs… and hair…
Gonna play truth or dare
Till I get my fill
Going to the Ukraine, to find my girl
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